Testimony 29/07/05: Better Things

Since I reached home, I felt uneasy most of the time. Am not used to how things are done. Somehow I felt that the spiritual atmosphere here is not good either. I felt bad about everything.

My mind went to the good things back in Melbourne. The friendships I have… The church I went… The cells I fellowshipped… The nature I enjoyed…And I was asking myself why things seems so bleak over here?

As I lay my head down in the deep of the night, a gentle voice came. That same voice that has soothed my heart with its tender words all these while.

“Remember what I told you?”
“Which one, Lord?”
“That the friendships were beautiful?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“That the church was great?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“That the fellowship was awesome?”
“Yes, Lord.”
“That the nature was overwhelming? …breathtaking?”
“Yes, Lord!”
“And yes! I have even better things in store for you! More than you could ever imagine!”

I squeezed my eyes… put my hand on my chest…”How could I forget? I’m sorry, Lord. Thank you for what You have prepared for me.”

News 28/07/05: A New Ray of Light

My last days in Australia were marked with heavy schedules: meeting up with people, packing, selling, giving and throwing things away.

I can’t sleep on the plane home. I arrived in Singapore at 6AM local time and slept in a bench as I waited for my 8 o’clock flight. When I woke up, I saw my watch. It was 9AM! Gosh! I jumped up from the bench, shocked. I have missed the plane!

Then I realized that my watched was still in Melbourne time, which means it was still 7AM in Singapore. Phew…

The journey from my house in Melbourne to my house in Bandung took not less than 18 hours. I was so tired that I slept straight away after I reached home, from 3PM to 6AM the next day! That’s 15 hours!

I opened my eyes as the sun rose.

A new ray of light...

A new journey...

A new level...

Testimony 27/07/05: From the Very Bottom of My Heart

I have been in OCF for nearly 6 years. I was there since my college years in 1999. I have watched people come and go. I have also gone through a lot of ups and downs. But all the hardship and tears collected together and times ten, cannot outweigh all the things I’ve learnt and enjoyed. They can’t even come close to it! Praise God!

I have grown the most through OCF. It has given me the opportunity to grow, the encouragement to move on and a helping hand whenever I fall. I love OCF so very much. It is running in my veins!

I was so touched by the way OCF put together a dinner for me the night before I went away. Some cooked, some washed, some listened, some encouraged, some entertained, some took photos… The theme was Shanghai, and people were dressed in red, bringing ang pau and mandarins. The girls’ hair was tied and braided. Lanterns hung around the house. A China town!

I was also touched to receive an envelope full of love letters from all the OCFers! There were well over 50 of them! My primary love language is “word of affirmation”, and this gift is a perfect gift!

I still have all the encouragement cards people gave me for the past 7 years, even since my time in Singapore! Each tells a story on how I’ve grown. And I know that all these letters you guys gave me will be my treasure in the years to come. They’re all very beautiful. Some are very deep, some are very encouraging, some are very inspirational, and some are very funny. Some gave me writing in Chinese, for my homework I supposed. Still, some share of cherished impacts I didn’t even know making.

I can’t share every single letter here, but the following are some words from some of them. Thank you, guys… from the very bottom of my heart.

***

…May you discover parts of yourself, hidden talents and great amount of inner strength in the next year… ~Crystal~

…You are really a character you know that! …do live your life as His living testimony yah!… ~Sherllyn~

…I still remember when I was crying and said, “God, help me!” you called. The next time I was crying, you called as well. It all started with a phone call. God works miraculously in His way! Thanks for praying for me over the phone. You know, because of what you did to me, I am now doing it to my cell members. It all started from what you did to me, so that I can also do it for others! … ~Emily Chong~

…You’ve been a true inspiration…OCF will be so different without you…. ~Jeremy Ng~

…God has done so much in your life that you absolutely shine! =) Keep that white hot passion you have for Jesus and IMPACT China in a big way! … ~Hau Wei~

It’s been good knowing you, having you as a cell leader and having the same name as you!!!… ~Nick Hu?~

Dear Nikko. Will miss your smile, your laugh, your funny jokes… Thanks for your very presence in OCF…~Phoebe Foo~

…I’m really, truly inspired by your passion and love towards God that I find it infectious to the people surrounding you… ~Mei Ching~

…Don’t live to regret. God will never let you fall… ~Merwyn~

Nadeem. This feels like exam! Having all the guys cramped in a room writing essays 4 u. Dunno what to say but I am proud of u 4 remaining faithful to God after constant emotional struggles… CONTINUE LOVING HIM! IT’S WORTH IT! ~Daniel Kong~

…I’m really glad that our paths in life crossed and for the time spent. Thank you for your encouragement and super ONS attitude… ~Chen Hua~

…Will not forget your ‘stoned’ looks when I tried to crack a joke… ~Zi Li~

…I’m sure you have left memories and stood a place in our hearts… ~Jane Chong~

Nadeem… Well, I hope you enjoy your time away from Australia and use it to the max. Remember to look up and not be affected by things that are around… ~Jason Leow~

…Are you excited to go to China? I know I would be! =) Shopping and food are the best there so remember to inDULGeeee!! Heehee… You must try the Peking duck k? … ~Cheryl Cheong~

…You are more than a blessing…~Peggen~

We love you and we hope you’ll keep on dancing for Him =) Hugs! ~Jeremy and Cheryl~

…Although I do not really know you very well but I can see that you are someone after the heart of God… ~Nick Kua~

…Haven’t have much time to know you though… just a few basketball moments with you…hoping to have another game with you when you’re back alright! ~Steve~

…I’m very grateful for you sending me to airport even you don’t know me well =) …~Jesslyn~

Dear Nikko! Although I’ve only been here for just the first sem, but I can see and tell that you’ve been a blessing to OCF & people around you…~Melisa~

Dear Nicco… This is my 3rd note to you that I’ve written tonight. You have just given your speech + yes, I’m touched. But more importantly I am overwhelmed with the expectation of what you will become for God. A fireball for the Kingdom… ~Oliver~

…make sure you hold true to the covenant you have with the Master… See you around my namesake: FinikiTas. ~Finikias~

Robin: Spirit-Filled. Thanks to you. ~Robin~

…Even though you’ve been here for 6 years, you are going too fast! … ~Jonathan “Job” Raj~

…Loads of hugs and kisses!! ~Hui Li~

Testimony 26/07/05: He Will Provide

I put advertisement online and on the trading post. But as the time for me to go drew near, I still haven’t been able to sell my car. Sue said that God will not let the car to hang around my neck. When God calls, He will provide.

I have wished for a Christian friend to buy my car. I have wished that the car would continue to be used for ministry, as it has been for the past 5 years in OCF. I felt so faithless when I went to the dealer to sell it on a later date, nearer to my departure.

Just two days before I flew off, Gani’s friend called up and said he wanted the car! The next day, he took a look at the car. He even got the RWC done for me the following day! I managed to sell the car at a better price than the dealer and… guess what? He is a Christian friend who buys the car for ministry! Wow! When God calls, He will indeed provide! Man… only if I have more faith

My car is no longer NK 168. She is TQR 524 now. But if you happen to see an NK 168 driving around, just check… I might be back in Melbourne.

Testimony 21/07/05: There’ll Be Rejoicing

During the church communion, Tina shared a Scripture from the Bible of a widow whose son has just died. She has lost her husband, and now she lost her son. She was in despair. She felt loneliness and hopelessness. Her dreams died in front of her very eyes. She has lost her future.

But Jesus came and brought her son back to life. Suddenly her eyes widened, her heart bubbled. There was rejoicing.

I felt that there is a missing portion in my heart. There are questions that may never find answers. I felt loneliness. I have watched my dreams died in front of my very own eyes. My future. I felt tears streaming down my cheek.

Then I sense God came to me. He said, “He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32) God is a good God who would not take away the things we desire unless He has something better for us.

So even though I don’t know where life would lead me, I know that God has paid the price. And I know that there will be rejoicing… just like the widow who found her dream alive again when her son was resurrected.

Testimony 17/07/05: A Story of Grace

Friday, 16/07/05

I saw a vision of OCF leaders washed in fire, yet not consumed. I knew that God wanted to baptize the leaders in the Holy Spirit.

Saturday, 17/07/05

I joined leaders retreat. I spent most of the first day in my room, sleeping. I was down with flu, cough and low blood pressure. Yet I felt sure about His calling.

After I woke up, I spent the next two hours seeking God. I felt unworthy. If God was to look for someone to baptize a person with the Holy Spirit, I was the most undeserving one! I made many failures in the past and I will make even more mistakes in the future! And I have never baptized anyone in the Spirit before. What if no one wants to be baptized in Spirit? Or what if a lot of people want to be baptized in the Spirit but none receives the gift of tongue?

God said that even then, as I worshipped God, I didn’t deserve to come before Him! I was nowhere near His standard. But He showed me that I could come into His presence because I was covered by the blood of the Lamb. When I baptize people with His Spirit, the same grace will operate within me. Whether anyone wants to receive the baptism or not, whether anyone would speak in tongue or not, it will all be God’s working, not mine. All I need to do was to obey. God’s presence was so strong in my room. I was overwhelmed by His grace.

That night, four people came up and were baptized in the Spirit. And all four spoke in tongues! Praise be to God!

I guess the only reason I came to the retreat was this: to baptize His children with His Spirit. His grace is the basis in everything I do for Him. Praise the Lord!

***

I have seen the dark and desperate place where sin will take you
I've felt loneliness and shame
And I have watched the blinding light of grace
Come breaking through with a sweetness only tasted
By the forgiven and redeemed

Well, I can't fly at least not yet

I've got no halo on my head

And I can't even start to picture heaven's beauty

But I've been shown a Savior's love

The Grace of God has raised me up

To show me things the angels long to look into

And I know things the Angels only wish they knew

And someday I'll sit down with my angel friends
Up in heaven
And they'll tell me about Creation
And I'll tell them a story of Grace

~Steven Curtis Chapman, Angels Wish~

*Dedicated to Robin, Nick Kua, Eleanor and Mei Ying. May you experience the Person of the Holy Spirit today… much more than yesterday.

Testimony 18/07/05: The First Time

Walking down the Browns Rd Park during sunset time, God showed me my first-times of life in Australia...

The first time I reached Melbourne, I was motivated. The first time I got my car, I was estatic. The first time I journeyed Victoria, I was blown away. The first time I watched "The Incredibles", I was fascinated. The first time I got my digital camera, I was electrified. The first time I met God, I was captivated. The first time I got my Bible, I was thrilled. The first time I went to CityLife Church, I was amazed. The first time I went to Koorong, I was astonished. The first time I went to Hillsong Conference, I was pumped.

All those experiences started with some sort of negative feelings. But each end up in a high note.

I've never been to China before. But with God with me, even though I am nervous... The first time I reach Beijing, I will be excited. The first time I speak Mandarin, I will be overjoyed! There is no such feeling... like the first time.

Testimony 29/06 - 11/07/05: Sydney

What a fantastic Sydney trip! I saw Harbour Bridge and Opera House from very close! Woo hoo! Got to know my cousin, Sin Cie, better. I went to The Blue Mountains and... WOW! It is so beautiful! Can't get enough of it. Went to Jenolan caves and journeyed into one called "The Cathedral". It is the tallest cave in Jenolan and the acoustic is perfect! I nearly cried because of its majesty! God's so BIG! I sang "Amazing Grace". But I think I trembled more than enjoying the acoustic, haha!

Hillsong Conference was awesome! It was the biggest so far with 28,962 delegates! Compared to the other two I went (2002 and 2003), this Conference was the most personal. It touched me right to the core, about God's grace and a God of second chances.

And guess what? As usual... I didn't want to go back Melbourne by the end of the trip, haha! But well... life goes on. And now am packing up for China.

Acknowledgement 13/07/05: A Band of Soldiers

Dear Friends,

If I know who you are, I would like to thank you personally.

All this while I thought I was alone. I thought nobody knows what I was going through. I didn't know what it means to be whole. I came to the point where I believed that I cannot be healed. When Jesus said to His disciples, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Matthew 26:38), I got a glimpse of what He felt.

Then I find out there is an army of prayer warriors marching behind me. A band of soldiers encircling me! And I never knew they were there! I never knew you were there!

I don't have much to offer but my gratitude and prayers. Thanks for interceding for me and making a difference in my life. I may not know who you exactly are but God bless you much... indeed!

In Hillsong Conference last week God vividly impressed upon my heart that He is working on me. He is healing me and I am getting better. I was very touched. At that conference, I saw people like Christine Caine, Allan Meyer, Di Wilson and Joyce Meyer. They went through abuse, divorce, immorality and rejections. Yet God raised them up from that dark pit and used them for His glorious works! Reinhard Bonnke said that God would take a broken vessel and used it as a vessel of honour. I saw a glimpse of what it is to be whole again. I found hope. God is in the business of exchanging "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair" (Isaiah 61:3). Glory to God! Amen!