I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in this body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. Galatians 2:20

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Testimony 09/09/05: Don’t Try Harder

Can I be honest? Can I be vulnerable with you? I do feel lonely, hopeless, helpless, directionless and purposeless sometimes. And I did feel them today.

After being home for more than a month, I still felt confused. I still couldn’t adjust with the differences and activities here. I tried. I failed. I tried again. And I failed again. I failed more than I succeed.

I felt tired. I was worn out. I cried to the Lord, “I don’t feel like fighting anymore!” When I failed, I tried harder. When I failed again, I tried even harder. And harder. And harder. And harder. And…

“Don’t try harder,” I could almost hear God saying, “Surrender…”

Are you exhausted? Are you drained out? Are you flapping your wings just like me? Joyce Meyer said that we are to mount up wings as eagles (Isaiah 40:31). Flapping is like the working of the flesh. Flapping is for chicken. And it could barely lift us off the ground.

We are not called to be chickens. We are called to be eagles! Eagles don’t flap. Eagles glide. Eagles wait upon the rock to catch the heat current to fly.

Chickens run for cover as the storm settle in. But eagles embrace storm. They embrace the storm but attack the serpents. We need wisdom to recognize the storms and serpents in our lives. Just like Joseph who couldn’t choose where he wanted to be as a slave (storm) but resisted the temptation from Photiphar’s wife (serpent).

Are you a weary soldier? Are you a fainting saint? Then stop trying harder… it’s time to surrender!

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