Testimony 25/09/05: She Gave Her All

Mark 12:41-44

41Jesus sat down apposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins worth only a fraction of a penny.
43Calling His disciples to Him, Jesus said, ”I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44They gave out of their wealth; but she, in her poverty, put everything – all she had to live on.”

***

What treasures do you have? What riches do you hold? Apart from money, we have time, energy, effort, intellect, knowledge, skills, talents, abilities… Have you put in everything into the treasury? Have you given the lot to God? Have you given all you had to live?

“The truth is that this poor widow gave more to the collection than all the others put together. All the others gave what they’ll never miss; she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford – she gave her all.” Mark 12:43-44 (MSG)

Yes. She gave her all… What about you?

***

“The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:29-30

Testimony 22/09/05: Not Another Tom, Dick and Harry

How many times do your prayers seem to go unanswered? How many times do things go not according as planned? How many times do you find yourself shaking your head and say, “I don’t understand”? Or crying out, “How long, O Lord, how long?” Or “when?” Or how?”

God delights when we love Him supremely, trust Him completely and obey Him wholeheartedly. I was worship practicing when I heard the song says, “Lord, I give You my heart, I give You my soul.”

I smiled. I know full well that even though so many times I do not understand what God is doing, I know that God takes pleasure when I trust Him completely. After all, He is not just another Tom, Dick and Harry around the corner. He is a great God who does not withhold any good things from us.

And so I sang that song with all my heart.

***

This is my desire
To honour You
Lord, with all my heart
I worship You

All I have within me
I give You praise
All that I adore
Is in You

Lord, I give You my heart
I give You my soul
I live for You alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake
Lord have Your way in me

Hillsong, I Give You My Heart

Testimony 21/09/05: What A Day!

Being away from family while overseas made me not looking forward for my birthdays. If my friends didn’t remind me, I might have forgotten about them! Now that I am home, I am still not used to being excited about my birthday. I wished that day would just vanish. Not sure why… just not used to celebrate it!

But today, I found myself talking to God while swimming and it was so awesome! He showed me how He had taken care of me for the past 7 years while overseas, and He will take care of me in my next 7 years and beyond! I am excited for what God has in stored for me! I have so much hope!

Friends and family were so excited about celebrating. My colleague made me a cheesecake. Mom and bro bought me presents. My family and I went to a Japanese restaurant for dinner. Cell group bought me fried banana with chocolate topping! What a day! What a celebration! God has given me a joy that I can’t explain! Praise God!

Testimony 18/09/05: A Heart Of Worship

Takkan pernah kubawa selain yang terbaik (I will never bring anything but the best)
Yang harum dan sejati (Pleasing and true)
Di hadapan tahtaMu (Before Your throne)

As the church sang, I stood there… speechless. Have I given God my best? My heart is filled with regrets. Deep in my heart, I knew I could have done better. I want to do good, but many times I did not simply of sheer laziness. Like Jesus said, “The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41b).

Yesusku terimalah korban syukurku ini (My Jesus, accept this thanksgiving sacrifice)
Yang mengalir di hatiku (That flows from my heart)
Sebagai persembahanku (As an offering)

I saw myself covered with layers and layers of weaknesses, failures, sins and grief. Even though I am eager to live for Him, I really felt I haven’t done anything. I felt not worthy of singing this song to Him, let alone offering my live.

Then I saw the layers that covered me being lifted up. One by one the layer was opened. God looks pass through my weaknesses and failures. His eyes look beyond my sins and grief… He looks at my heart.

There my heart stood naked before the Lord: pure and holy, washed by the blood of the Lamb. A heart of worship. That’s what God is looking for. What an offering! God does not condemn me! Once again I am encouraged to live for Him and give my best.

1 Samuel 16:7b “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

*Lyric is taken from Franky Simhobing’s Persembahanku (My Offering).

Testimony 18/09/05: Complete

Here I am, O God
I bring this sacrifice
My open heart
I offer up my life
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to You, Lord
In Your strength will I breakthrough, Lord
Touch me now
Let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the strom I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I’ll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You


Parachute Band, Complete

Testimony 17/09/05: The God of The Second Chance

I clenched my fist. I bit my lip. I raised my voice. And I walkout out in anger.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. (Lamentation 3:19-20)

I did it again! I lose my temper one more time. I was wondering if God really wants me to be His witness after I keep doing the same mistake again and again. I think I am doing more damage than good. What would unbelievers say about us Christians? I think God should send someone else.

Yet I call to mind and therefore I have hope. (Lamentation 3:21)

The fact that I am still here on earth means God still has a purpose for me. The fact that there is no fire fall from heaven to consume me means there is another chance for me to try again. His love for me does not depend on my performance. It does not depend on my feelings. His love for me is based on who He is. His love for me unconditional.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him.” (Lamentation 3:22-24)

Blessed be the God of the second chance… the third chance… the fourth chance…

Testimony 14/09/05: What Drives Your Life?

Mark 11: 27-33

27 They arrived again in Jerusalem, and while Jesus was walking in the temple courts, the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders came to him. 28 “By what authority are you doing these things?” they asked. “And who gave you authority to do this?”
29 Jesus replied, “I will ask you one question. Answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. 30 John’s baptism – was it from heaven, or from men? Tell me!”
31 They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ he will ask, ‘Then why didn’t you believe him?’ 32 But if we say, ‘From men’…” (They feared the people, for everyone held that John really was a prophet.)
33 So they answered Jesus, “We don’t know.”
Jesus said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things.”

***

Jesus asked a question. In their pride, the Pharisees refused to acknowledge that John’s baptism came from God. On the other hand, the Pharisees feared the people that they couldn’t answer that the baptism has come from men either. Based on their pride and fear, they chose their answer to Jesus, “We don’t know.”

What a reminder! How often I find my life not driven by a God-given purpose. Too many times I am distracted by the things of earth. Decision based on majority. Action on fear. Words on anger.

What drives your life? Could it be guilt and shame? Could it be resentment and anger? Or fear? Or materialism? Or even approval like the Pharisees? What do you want your driving force to be?

***

My church, GKI Anugerah, is doing a project called “40 Days of Purpose”. About 1,300 people committed themselves to read Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life” from 11 September 2005. This program is integrated through sermons and cell groups. Thank God for Indonesian translation of PDL! Do continue to keep all of us in prayers. May this project brings light to many and that our lives will never be the same again. Amen!

Testimony 13/09/05: Not Quite Like

Once my friends asked me what I want to do after I finish my degree. “I want to work in the zoo,” I always answered. Even though I was to graduate as a marketer, I always dreamt to work in Melbourne zoo. “I can market the zoo,” I reasoned, although I really wanted to be a zookeeper instead. Oh how I love animals!

Now I have completed my undergraduate. I never had the qualifications or the opportunity to work in the zoo.

But! I am in charge of all the animals at home now! Turtles, tortoises, dogs, fish… I am a zookeeper! Even though not quite the way I have imagined. I know I’m going to have a good time.

I remember another dream in my heart. I used to imagine being a children-book writer. I read a lot of children’s books, learn how to write, I took drawing lesson and I joined Sunday school.

I had never put together a children book though. I thought I would never be a writer. But now I find myself writing my own blog. Simple, though not quite like what I have imagined.

God does not despise a small beginning. He knows my dreams and desires. He is the One who has planted them in my heart! Who knows where God will bring me after this!

Do you have a dream so small you think it is insignificant? Or a dream so BIG you don’t even dare to say it out loud? Are things going not quite like what you have always dreamt? Do not abort! Jesus is the dream giver. Commit it to Him and He will bring it to pass.

***

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “A plan to prosper you and not to harm you, a plan to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

“The Lord will fulfill His purpose in me, your love O Lord endures forever, do not abandon the work of Your hand.” Psalm 138:8

Testimony 11/09/05: Let My Words Be Few

Do you make it long? Do you make it loud? Or “pretty”? I mean… as you worship God, do you make it “grand”? Does your chest inflate with pride? Does your heart ask if the person next to you hear your beautiful voice? Or if the congregation notices how skilled your fingers slide through those strings on the guitar you played? Or if the guy behind you sees how heavily highlighted is your Bible?

My heart was so touched as my church sang Heart of Worship last week. “I’m sorry, Lord, for the things I’ve made it,” the song says. Too many times I tried to make “it” indeed. Too many times it is about me, not about Jesus.

As the song played, I came before the Lord, humbled by His grace. I came bare before Him, amazed. It is by His grace I could come to Him. It is all by His grace I may bow and worship Him, not by the way I made it loud, or long or pretty. Praise God for His brand new mercies every morning! Amen!

***

You are God in heaven
And here am I on earth
So I’ll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with you

The simplest of all love songs
I want to bring to You
So I’ll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with you

And I stand in awe of You
And I stand in awe of You
And I’ll let my words be few
Jesus, I am so in love with you

Passion 2000, Let My Words Be Few

Testimony 09/09/05: Don’t Try Harder

Can I be honest? Can I be vulnerable with you? I do feel lonely, hopeless, helpless, directionless and purposeless sometimes. And I did feel them today.

After being home for more than a month, I still felt confused. I still couldn’t adjust with the differences and activities here. I tried. I failed. I tried again. And I failed again. I failed more than I succeed.

I felt tired. I was worn out. I cried to the Lord, “I don’t feel like fighting anymore!” When I failed, I tried harder. When I failed again, I tried even harder. And harder. And harder. And harder. And…

“Don’t try harder,” I could almost hear God saying, “Surrender…”

Are you exhausted? Are you drained out? Are you flapping your wings just like me? Joyce Meyer said that we are to mount up wings as eagles (Isaiah 40:31). Flapping is like the working of the flesh. Flapping is for chicken. And it could barely lift us off the ground.

We are not called to be chickens. We are called to be eagles! Eagles don’t flap. Eagles glide. Eagles wait upon the rock to catch the heat current to fly.

Chickens run for cover as the storm settle in. But eagles embrace storm. They embrace the storm but attack the serpents. We need wisdom to recognize the storms and serpents in our lives. Just like Joseph who couldn’t choose where he wanted to be as a slave (storm) but resisted the temptation from Photiphar’s wife (serpent).

Are you a weary soldier? Are you a fainting saint? Then stop trying harder… it’s time to surrender!

News 07/09/05: Would You?

In 1969, a law is passed. One must ask permission from the community and its leaders, including the spiritual leaders, to open a place of worship. Only then consent is given by the government to erect a building for religious purposes.

Most Indonesians embrace Islam. It is almost impossible to get permission from Muslim leaders to build any place of worship other than mosques, let alone consent from the government. There had been extreme difficulties to build new churches. A lot of churches that was bombed or burned down didn’t even get permission to be rebuilt. Their blackened frames were left where they were set ablaze, reminding Christians of that dark Christmas night in 2000.

But Christians still need a place of worship. They want to commune with God and fellowship with fellow believers. They started meeting at houses.

In the past few years, a lot of Muslims crossed over to Christianity. This initiate Mr. Muhammad Mu’min to start a movement called AGAP (Anti-Conversion Movements) with a mission to stop the activities of house churches and so stop the crossing over of people from Islam to Christianity. They would send delegations to the house churches twice before sending their troops to force Christians to close down the, what AGAP called, “undisciplined” churches.

“This is a win-lose situation,” Mr. answered TEMPO when asked of their reason for using force to close down the churches. “We must win, and they must lose,” he said. For Muslims, dying for their religion is considered honour. It means their sins will all be forgiven not accounted for. “We are ready to start Crusade II… we will take the pastor as hostage” Mr. Mu’min Added.

This matter has been raised up to the higher leaders of the nation. Indonesian president has asked the religion minister to attend to this issue.

***

Would you intercede with me for Indonesia?

*All quotations are taken from TEMPO, 11 September 2005, pp.32

Testimony 05/09/05: Continue To Escalate

Remember the story how churches are being closed in Indonesia, especially in my region? How our church prayed about it? And how the news had made its way to the president? Now… the news was in the major paper once again last Sunday. And… it continues to escalate to a higher level. The news made it to this week’s headline of a major political and economic magazine, TEMPO!

Well… to be honest, I haven’t read it yet. Ehem… competition with dad is quite tight, hahaha!! I continue praying that good things are happening. Amen!

Testimony 04/09/05: He Will Rise Again

Mark 10:32-34

32 They were on the way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him. 33 “We are going up to Jerusalem,” he said, “and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, 34 who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him. Three days later he will rise.”

***

Jesus knew His purpose, therefore He led the way
Jesus knew the disciples were afraid, therefore He went ahead
The disciples knew what was Jesus was going to face, and seeing Jesus led the way, they were amazed… astonished…
The disciples knew the immensity of danger that awaited them, thus they were afraid
Jesus calmed their fear not by reducing the scale of the matter.

Nor did He say that it could be avoided.

But he retold them that it must happen… and that He will rise again

***

When we face troubles, remember…

Jesus will go ahead of us
Jesus will give us hope

Testimony 02/09/05: Jesus is Coming Back!

Christians are missing from earth, leaving their clothes as they wear it. The others are left behind, confused. Some believe the people have been kidnapped by aliens. Some think it is just a dream. Some take their own lives, knowing their family members are among the missing. Chaos is everywhere. Airplanes plummeted from the sky the moment the pilots gone missing. Trains crash. Cars collide. Communication lines are jammed as people trying to find out the fate of their loved ones.

Rayford Steele rushes home to find his house empty… and his wife missing. He is convinced the rapture has happened, the very thing his wife had been trying to tell him. She said the Christians would be taken to heaven. He told his wife that she was too religious. He made it as an excuse to dream about another woman. But now he comes home just to find her sleeping gown lying on their bed, left by the owner. Her wedding ring on the pillow, the place where she used to place her hand under her cheek as she slept. Rayford lays himself down and hug her wife’s sleeping gown, crying.

Tears stream down his face. He could almost smell his wife, as if she is still with him. He wishes he had complimented her for the new curtain she has put in their room. But has he ever appreciated it? Or noticed it at least? Not really. He wishes he had complimented her for faithfully brewing coffee for him every morning. He wishes he had believed his wife about God. About Christ. He has dreamt about another woman, but now all he wants is his wife…

***

I am reading “Left Behind”. I am reminded that Jesus is coming back! I don’t know when, but one thing for sure, He is coming back! How different this world would be, how different our lives would be, if everyone has this in mind. Jesus is coming back!

Priorities will be readjusted

Loved ones cherished

Risks taken

And things will not be taken for granted

Between now and then, may we never tire doing the things we are called to do. May we never live to regret. May we live life to the fullest. And may Jesus never find us asleep when He comes back. Amen!